Relationships - The Heart of Success

Today the Success Intelligence team is hosting a half-day master- class on Success Intelligence in the heart of London. Ben Renshaw and I are co-presenting. This event also coincides with a celebration for the launch of our S.I. website this year. One of the themes we will explore today is relationships are the heart of success.

So many of us have grown up with parents who sacrificed themselves for the family, and who sacrificed their relationships with family, friends, and partners for their work. Our challenge is to make sure we do not repeat the same mistakes. Success does require sacrifice. Specifically, it requires sacrificing what is not important for what is. With that in mind, I invite you to read the following inventory, taken from my book Success Intelligence.

In the name of success,
how many bedtime stories am I prepared to miss?

In the name of success,
how many family dinners am I happy to give up?

In the name of success,
how many dates with my partner can I afford to lose?

In the name of success,
how many friendships am I willing to discard?

In the name of success,
how many weekends have I resigned to throw away?

In the name of success,
how many school plays am I prepared to miss?

In the name of success,
how many kisses good bye will I not make time for?

In the name of success,
how many beautiful sunsets together will I sacrifice?

Show Up and Shine

Show Up and Shine
By Avril Carson, Co-Director of Success Intelligence

I love the part in Marianne Williamson’s book A Return to Love where she tells us: “Your playing small doesn’t serve the world”. She talks about liberating ourselves and inspirationally liberating others; this is exactly what my work with ‘Show up and Shine’ is all about.

Isn’t it curious how one human being can glow with what we call ‘charisma’, whilst another human being is hardly noticed?

Most of us have experienced both of these things at different times, and we’ve probably had a whole range of other experiences in between. It is crucial to remember that all of us have the ability to choose how we show up.

“Many years ago I signed up for a 3-day course. As I walked into the room before the course began, I took a decision that was to change my whole experience of the event. The phrase that came into my mind was ‘be a key player’. Not only was it odd that this phrase entered my mind, but I was surprised to find myself purposefully taking a seat in the front row! I started to engage with everyone that came in who wanted to chat. When the course began I asked questions, and when I had a breakthrough, I shared it.
This may sound like ‘no big deal’ to some, but the benefits were way beyond anything I could have imagined. In those 3 days I gave myself a challenge: to live my values on the equality of all human beings, to respect all opinions including my own, and my right to voice them if useful. I was inspired to raise my game. I realised that previously, I had been waiting for everything to feel ‘right’ and for other people to encourage me and I hadn’t ever really thought about what it meant to ‘Show up’ in my life, let alone ‘Shine’.
So when I did show up on that course, I was amazed at people’s positive response, the warmth and appreciation shown to me during the three days. I enjoyed every moment, I soaked up and retained invaluable learning, and made enduring friends.

In my work since then, I have explored communication and how we can become more aware, awake and engaged in order to release our potential to be more engaging and inspiring in all of our relationships.

What if it is true that the whole world actually conspires with us when we choose to ‘Show up and Shine’? What if we can experience a transformation of the world as we know it and that world is waiting for all of us right now?

The first step is to notice, and I suggest with some kindness, what effect you’ve been having. Then, imagine yourself having the courage to create the effect you’d love to have. Kindness is encouraging. It has clarity. Kindness recognises our highest potential. It is not sloppy or sentimental. It is firm and supportive.

Courage is your ticket to ride. Get curious about the impact a human being like you can have, and then just watch what happens to your world!

If you are interested in ‘Show up and Shine’ I am running a 1 day workshop on the 25th June at the Columbia Hotel in London. This work is usually only offered in corporations, so take advantage of this public and open setting. It will be a supportive, positive, honest, encouraging and brilliant space for you to experiment and think deeply about how you too could Show up and Shine whatever the weather!

Click here: www.marianne.com for more on A Return to Love

Success is a REAL Yes!

Today I (Robert Holden) am giving a 1-day workshop on success intelligence and the inner-life of a leader. The workshop is taking place in Manhattan, and is being hosted by One Spirit. One of the themes I will be exploring is “The Real Yes.”

I believe a leader is anyone who senses the big YES in their belly and immediately goes into labour; I believe a leader is someone who feels the deep YES in their heart and dares to follow it; I believe a leader is everyone who listens to the true YES in their mind and trusts it as their guide; and I believe a leader is who you are when you identify the real YES of your soul and really live it.

Leadership is receptivity; leadership is heartfelt; leadership is listening; leadership is being who you really are. So what is your real YES? What is it that you really say YES to?

On this note, I offer you something I once wrote called “The Real Yes.”Yes!

I took a chance.
And, yes,
I took a risk.

And, yes,
I gave it a go,
And, yes helped me
get past "No."

I can,
I know I can.
I'm able,
I know I'm able.

I will,
I know I will.
No longer am I
standing still.

I heard myself say,
"but," and "no," and "won't,"
"maybe," and "if," and "only,"
and "shan't", but it was "Yes!"
that got me past "can't."

"Yes" brought out the best in me.
I said "Yes!"
A real "Yes!"

Coaching Success – Practical wisdom for experiencing Genuine Success.

by Ben Renshaw - Co Director of Success Intelligence 

The current economic crisis has turned up the heat on individuals, teams and organisations needing to find new ways of working smarter. Whether I’m running Senior Leadership Development Programs for IHG, the largest hospitality company in the world, coaching Executives at Sky, the number 1 provider of entertainment in the UK, or training Head Teachers in the Scottish Borders to become great coaches, I have found that the most effective way of helping people create new solutions is through the power of coaching.

I have identified 12 qualities for Coaching Success based on the 4 Intelligences that underpin the work of Success Intelligence – PQ (the energy of success); EQ (the heart of success); IQ (the psychology of success); and SQ (the spirit of success). The following are three of these qualities, which are particularly relevant in these unpredictable times:

1. Managing energy well for enjoying sustainable success. I’ve just returned from a very restful holiday in Thailand. It never ceases to amaze me how much rest I need to catch up with after the exertions of my regular workload and looking after my two young kids! When the pressure is on the ability to renew energy becomes even more important. It enables you to think clearly, be decisive, communicate well, and take smart moves. Coaching Action: What do you need to get re-energized? Commit to 3 actions that will improve your energy.
2. Engaging authentically through openness and honesty. Probably the biggest cause of wasted time and energy in organisations is due to the lack of openness and honesty in conversation. A client recently summoned the courage to tell his CEO that the organisation was not demonstrating enough hunger for creating sales and cited numerous examples of competitors who were taking the lead in new ways to attract custom. The CEO asked him why he hadn’t shared this opinion earlier. The client had to admit that the last time he gave direct feedback to colleagues the CEO had told him to stop putting down his peers and was therefore cautious about doing it again. By not speaking up we place a high risk of failing to address key issues. As Alan Weber, the editor of the Harvard Business Review said ‘Conversations are the new form of work’. Coaching Action: Who do I need to be more honest with? What do I need to say? When will I have this important conversation
3. Being vision led by having a clear definition of success. A key principle of Success Intelligence is, ‘Your definition of success influences every other significant decision in your life’. Now more than ever before we need to work out what real success means for us. Traditionally people have associated success with financial accomplishment and a position, e.g. being the biggest, largest, fastest etc. One of the opportunities emerging out of the global meltdown is to redefine success. I got a real surprise at the beginning of this year when I asked a client about his definition of success for 2009. Historically he had been very focused on hitting targets and beating the competition. He said that the current climate had forced him to think deeply about what really matters and he identified 3 key things as measures of success – people, development and philanthropy. Coaching Action: What is your definition of success? Schedule time to clarify success in your work, life and relationships.

Be Happy - Available NOW in US

We are delighted to announce the publication of Robert Holden's new book Be Happy. While the official launch date is April 15th, the book is available now on Amazon.com and also in bookstores across America.

To celebrate the launch of Be Happy,  publishers Hay House have published a Be Happy film on You Tube.

Hay House has also issued an E-blast with a number of generous offers on it. For example:

If you order Be Happy now you will be entered to win two full-conference tickets to see Robert Holden live at the I CAN DO IT! San Diego Conference on May 1-3, 2009 (including hotel accommodations for two nights). You can also enter to win access to Robert Holden's Be Happy eight-week online workshop starting on April 15 or the Be Happy Abridged Audio Book 6-CD Set. Winners will be chosen on Apr 13!

Also if you order Be Happy between April 2 and April 30 you will receive gifts from Hay House and sponsors, including: (1) Free access to Lesson #1 of Robert Holden's Be Happy eight-week online workshop ($20 value) and (2) Audio excerpts from the Be Happy Audio Book ($5.95 value).

Be Happy - 8-Week Course Online - Starts April 15th

I am delighted to announce dates for the first ever Be Happy 8-Week course Online. The course is hosted by Hay House publishers, and it consists of a weekly 2-hour live session, in which I will take your calls and respond to your e-mails, while coaching you on essential principles of happiness. You can choose to listen to each session live or on-demand (at a time convenient to you). To purchase a ticket for this event go to Hay House.

As a special offer, Hay House are offering for those who book now a complimentary copy of my flip callendar Happiness NOW.

Below is a short outline of what I will cover on the 8-week program. I hope you can join me.

NOW, for the first time ever, you can take the Be Happy 8-week online course. Step-by-step, Robert introduces you to a set of proven principles and exercises that psychologists have hailed as “a genuine fast-track to happiness.” With his trademark insight, warmth and humor, Robert will share personally with you his distinctive philosophy and practice on how to experience true self-acceptance, everyday abundance, loving relationships, and inner success.

Week One: The Gift of Happiness
Part 1: Defining True Happiness
Create a definition of happiness that really works for you.
Part 2: A Happy Learning Curve
Identify what your life is teaching you about happiness right now.

Week Two: The Happy Self
Part 1: #1 Happiness Principle
Get this principle, and you will attract more happiness instantly.
Part 2: Follow your Joy
Give up the pursuit of happiness and start following your joy.

Week Three: Choosing your Life
Part 1: Choosing Happiness
Learn how to choose happiness, instead of chasing happiness.
Part 2: Healing Unhappiness
Learn how to handle unhappiness in an honest and positive way.

Week Four: Joy Unlimited
Part 1: The Real More
Clarify your life-goals, and commit to what you really want.
Part 2: The Fear of Happiness
Discover how you are limiting your own happiness and success.

Week Five: The Heart of Happiness
Part 1: Your Family Story
Heal old family patterns and commit to living an authentic life.
Part 2: The Relationship Questionnaire
Bring more imagination, creativity, and fun to your relationships.

Week Six: Everyday Abundance
Part 1: The Happiness Contract
Increase your natural capacity for prosperity and success.
Part 2: The Receiving Meditation
Let yourself be so happy you almost feel guilty, but not quite!

Week Seven: Love and be happy
Part 1: Love and fear
Make love more important to you than anything else.
Part 2: The Forgiveness Principle
Give up all hope for a better past, and live happily even after.

Week Eight: Happiness NOW!
Part 1: Milking the Sacred Now
How to make today even more enjoyable than yesterday.
Part 2: Shift Happens!
Your life changes, when you do.

Barack Obama - Leadership, Happiness & Success

Today, I watched, along with everyone else in the world, the inauguration of the 44th American President, Barack Obama. Ever since Mr Obama was nominated for the Democratic candidacy, he has conducted himself as a genuine and principled person. Mr Obama has inspired a level of faith and hope in people that is frankly uncommon in politicians. Today, America got a new President, and, even more importantly, the world has a new leader. Because of Mr Obama’s breadth of vision, and his abiding sense of purpose, I believe he will serve the world well. And, therefore, I wish you, Mr Obama, and your family, every success.

The day after Barack Obama won the Presidential election, Alice Walker, the Pulitzer Prise-winning author, poet and activist, wrote the President-elect an open letter. I was deeply moved by Alice Walker’s letter, and have since shared it with hundreds of people who have attended my seminars. In her letter, Alice Walker offers wise counsel to Mr Obama on the challenges of leadership and the difficult times ahead. You can read the full transcript at The Root, or, if you like, see her read the letter on Democracy NOW, a daily radio TV show.

Here, I will share an excerpt from Alice Walker’s letter, which highlights the integral relationship between personal happiness and true success. It reads:

I would advise you to remember that you did not create the disaster that the world is experiencing, and you alone are not responsible for bringing the world back to balance. A primary responsibility that you do have, however, is to cultivate happiness in your own life. To make a schedule that permits sufficient time of rest and play with your gorgeous wife and lovely daughters. And so on. One gathers that your family is large. We are used to seeing men in the White House soon become juiceless and as white-haired as the building; we notice their wives and children looking strained and stressed. They soon have smiles so lacking in joy that they remind us of scissors. This is no way to lead. Nor does your family deserve this fate. One way of thinking about all this is: It is so bad now that there is no excuse not to relax. From your happy, relaxed state, you can model real success, which is all that so many people in the world really want. They may buy endless cars and houses and furs and gobble up all the attention and space they can manage, or barely manage, but this is because it is not yet clear to them that success is truly an inside job. That it is within the reach of almost everyone.

When I read these words, I felt like Alice Walker had written them for me. In my work with Success Intelligence and The Happiness Project, I have learned that, happiness creates success. In other words, when you cultivate a sense of joy inside yourself it helps you to access a whole new level of inspiration, talent, resilience, and support. Success can lead to happiness; but most of all, happiness leads to success. Psychology research backs this theory. Longitudinal studies, which follow the well-being of people over many years, show that inner happiness helps to promote career success, loving relationships, good health, financial prosperity, and a rich spiritual life. Your inner happiness is the key to authentic success.

Alice Walker goes on to talk about leadership, forgiveness, and the need to lighten and brighten our world. She finishes her open letter to Barack Obama with the words: “We are the ones we have been waiting for.” Her letter is really addressed to us all.

While Mr Obama takes his Presidential oath, and makes his acceptance speeches, let us use this occasion to reflect on how we can take a lead in our own lives. On some level, we are all world leaders, because on some level we all create the world. My prayer for today, therefore, is that we may all step forward so as to be even more of the person we came to be.

And so be it.